Spiritual conviction is about a tugging of the heart

Gosh I haven't blogged for so long! I've missed the opportunity to write and express thoughts and ideas and musings. Life becomes so busy sometimes there is little time for writing.

This week I've been thinking about the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Often I think we can assume that the Holy Spirit speaks through our mind, that its synonymous with our conscience. When I first became a Christian I assumed the Spirit would speak through my mind. But though he can use our mind to convict, I don't think we should rely on our conscience all the time. Our minds are a busy place, not only influenced by the Lord but by other forces....the morals we have been brought up with, popular culture, the evil one...When we understand the Spirit and learn to live by the promptings of the spirit we will recognise a heart and soul tugging as our witness of the Lords promptings.

It talks in the New Testament about the Sword of the Spirit. In Ephesians 6v7 Paul writes "take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." In Hebrews 4v12 it is written "for the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

You see the Spirit is not just the written Bible sitting on our laps it’s the truth of the word penetrating the very depths of us...the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts. It makes me think of the image in Ezekial 3v1where the angel of the Lord said to Ezekial, "Son of man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll; then go and speak to the house of Israel." The word has to be in us by the Spirit. Have you recieved the truth of the Word through the Spirit like that?

So often the Church and Christian culture is so full of popular culture that we no longer live by the promptings of the Spirit. Our minds our full of the cultural norm and we don't know what is right or wrong or holy living. This is why we need the Spirit. Without the Spirit scripture and the truth are just words, churches are just business and relationships are not communities and environments where we are living out Spirit filled lives.

So what is the answer? How do we live Spirit full lives that our holy? I think the Lord has been speaking to me a lot about clothing myself in Him. Reading Colossians 3 and Ephesians 6 has made me think about the importance of regularly clothing myself with the armour of God. Ephesians 6v12 says clearly that our battle is not against flesh and blood but the powers of this dark world. Sometimes I go to work and I feel that oppression of the world around me. It is not in my imagination, it’s real and that’s why I need the clothing of the Spirit and the armour of God as my protection.

 You see once we know Christ I believe we already have that Christ like clothing readily available. In Colosians 3 it starts "since then you have been raised with Christ"...note the 'have' this is something that has already been done!  We need to remind ourselves daily 'You belong to Jesus, you are filled with his Spirit because you have been raised with Christ!' And that clothing...those spiritual fruits of compassion and peace and truth etc..can so often get left in the wardrobe. We go out into our daily lives without the knowledge of the Spirits presence because we haven't daily clothed ourselves in resting before Him. So lets believe the truth that we are saved and walk in the Spirit and allow him to convict and comfort and strengthen us and so become more Christ-like.

Where is my allegiance?

I recently had to write an essay on the subject of Jesus' teaching on the Kingdom of God, with particular reference to 'The Sermon on the Mount' (Matthew 5-7) and Matthew 13 (sometimes called 'the Parables of the Kingdom'). Since then I can't get these passages out of my head! I've stopped reading the Bible through from Genesis as I was doing and seemed to have stalled quite literally in the Sermon on the Mount for weeks! But in a good way! God is revealing things to my tough-skinned mind and heart and trying to soften me, humble me and teach me things I've not yet grasped. I think the sum of what I'm being challenge about is this:

"Where is your allegiance?"

Ok I know I'm in a relationship with the Lord, he has saved me..but it's more than that. As Stott says on the Sermon on the Mount, "the citizens of heaven are called to put God first in their motives and their actions, in their business and their language, in their thought life and their priorities. All life comes under his royal control" (p89 of BST The Message of Matthew, 2009, 7th ed). Jesus' teaching is clear that citizens of heaven enter the Kingdom through repentance and belief in Christ (Matt 3:2). However Jesus clearly shows there is more to it than that. The mark of a believer is a life that lives out and practices the teachings of Jesus. Our Christian walk is a journey and living Kingdom lives is about obedience to Christ and putting Him first above all other things.

We can have allegiance to lots of things and put our value on those things over Christ. I find myself asking questions like 'Am I putting greater value on being respected and approved by others? Am I putting too great a value on my possessions and what I own? Where is my primary love? Is it for Jesus and His Kingdom or other things?'

The Sermon on the Mount is best summed up in Matthew 6:33:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you........."

I don't believe that this means that we will never suffer or have hard times...after all it says in the Beatitudes "blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness" (Matthew 5:10) and Jesus himself felt the pain of those cruel nails in his hands on the cross. But I do think that if we have His Kingdom and His righteousness as our primary focus then we don't have to worry about the necessities of life (what we will eat, wear, etc.....see Matthew 6 v 19-32).  

Reading passages like the Sermon on the Mount can leave us thinking 'is this lifestyle attainable, realistic?' However if we are in relationship with Christ and have the indwelling of the Spirit we do not need to fear. As Paul says in 1 Corin 4:20, "the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of Power" and the Spirit will help us in our weaknesses and provide us with victory in areas of our lives that put a drag wind on our walk with Him.
 
So as I blog on the Kingdom of God, starting with the Beatitudes next, I hope and pray that the Lord will challenge and change me. I want a re-focusing in my life. Hopefully it will bless and encourage you too.

Ladies...Men need our respect!!!!

This is a subject I've been thinking about for some time. Through observations of couples in my life and the differences between men and women I've noticed something that I think perhaps as women we need to understand and grasp better in order to encourage and affirm the men that we know. This is particularly pertinant to marriage and those in relationships with the opposite sex but also I think in general we need to know these things as we interact with the guys around us. I am talking, I know, from the place of a single, unmarried lady so do bear with me and comment if you disagree! However I think from my observation of others and what I've read in the Bible it is a subject God is teaching me about too........

As women (and I'm one myself so I can say it!!) we can be controlling, critical, nagging and wanting to 'fix' the men in our lives. Too often we do these things totally unintentially and not realising the affect it has on them.

In the Bible it says many times husbands 'love your wives' but wives 'respect' your husbands (see Ephesians 5v 33). It really emphasises it this way round. Why?? I think for the very reason that respecting men is intrinsically linked to loving them and perhaps God knew that women are not very good at grasping this. In Shaunti Feldhahm's book 'For women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men' (2004) a survey was carried out with over 1000 men. What they discovered was this...

'Men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected'

She gave an example of this from a retreat she went on. The speaker divided the room in half placing men on one side and women on the other. He said,

"I'm going to ask you to choose between two things,".... "If you had to choose, would you rather feel alone and unloved in the world OR would you rather feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone?" Shaunti explains that she recalls as a woman thinking, 'What kind of choice is that? Who would ever choose to feel unloved?!' But the speaker turned to the men's side of the room and a sea of hands went up when he asked "would you rather feel alone and unloved?" The women watched in utter bemusement! (see pages 21-23 of Shaunti's book).

In the book Shaunti goes on to explain that in the survey many men found it incredibly hard answering the 'unloved verses disrespect' questions because to them they equate the two.i.e. 

'If a man feels disrespected he is going to feel unloved'

I think deep down most women do respect the men in their lives they just often convey the opposite. Even things that might seem silly to us like not allowing the man to take a lead in the directions on a journey (does it really matter if he's going to be late as long as he has your respect and trust?!!!). Or nagging them about fixing something in the house can say to them 'actually I don't trust your're good enough to do this' and therefore respect you. A common one that really hurts guys is critizising them publically...you might be thinking you're just teasing them in front of others about something silly they have done but that is the worst insult for their need for respect. For women we forget these things.....

In the book of Proverbs in the Bible it says quite a few things about a 'nagging wife'...
-Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife. (Prov 21.9)
-Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife. (Prov 21.19)
-A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. How can you keep her quiet? Have you ever tried to stop the wind or ever tried to hold a handful of oil? (Prov 27.15)

Don't you just love the last one! But it's serious stuff and I wonder if it really does cripple relationships.
For me I've always thought of Genesis 3 when it comes to this subject. In Genesis 3 it talks about the 
well known passage when Eve in v8 takes the forbidden fruit and just goes right in there and eats it. 
She doesn't consult her husband, she just bulldozes right in! And he stands back and lets her do it! Not only 
that she persuades him to join her by giving him some of the forbidden fruit....

I think this passage tells us a lot about the weaknesses of both sexes but its also related to this subject. 
As women we can be quite controlling and think 'well he might not do that thing so I'm just going to go
in there and do it myself.' However as a consequence the man don't have a chance to say 'actually
that's not a good idea, or this is what I think....' I think the weaknesses of men can be that they 
don't step up to that challenge and lead us...and instead sit back and watch. But if we as women bulldoze
into situations we are not helping them to step up to leading us, making decisions and entrusing situations
into their hands......


So lets learn to entrust things a bit more to the men in our lives so they feel respected and loved!

Have you buried Jesus deep inside?...

"Have you ever tried to bury Jesus? Many Christians do. They receive Him in their youth, then the world begins to seep in. Slowly their Christian beliefs erode, like water can to rock over time. They bury Jesus deep inside, seal Him up and walk away. They try to deal with the world on their own, ignoring what once spurred their souls"............For more read....Roll away the stone

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free!

"See if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed!"  (John 8 v 36)
 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galations 5v1)
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corin 3v1) 

Do you really believe that there is freedom in Christ from things that hold you in bondage? This week in our midweek Church group we found ourselves being led back to the Cross and I believe the Lord was reminding us of all that Christ accomplished there. I think often we know that we have been saved from our sin through Christ's death but we forget that his death also was to provide liberation and freedom from the bondage and slavery caused by sin in our lives. In Col 2 v 13-14 it says “God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sin, having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood apposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.” As we worshipped I had a picture of people coming to the cross with sacks on their backs weighing them down that He wanted them to give up. I felt that the people in the picture were those who knew the Lord. You see I think sometimes as Christians we know that God has saved us but we continue to walk around with things that He wants to set us free from! We can do this for years and years and years and it can stunt our spiritual growth with the Lord. How He longs for us to be truly free!

I will give worry and addictions as an example…..

I know a lot of people consumed by worry. Not just fleeting worry but continuous worry that exhausts. I know what fear is like. I've experienced fear so intense it was nauseating. I meet a lot of people who are busy. So busy that their minds don't have time to stop. If this continues they rarely feel peace. I know what busy is. Busy leaves little space for Jesus. I heard it once said that the words BUSY could well stand for 'Being Under Satan's Yoke.' This sounds heavy but I think there is truth in this. If we are too busy then Satan has a field day because we have no time for Jesus.

In Isaiah the prophetic words of the lord are spoken, “He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.” (Isaiah 61v1). Are you broken-hearted? Are you fed up of being captive by things in your life that keep stopping you run in your relationship with God? Is your mind so full that there is no room for God's light to shine? Well don't despair there is freedom! This is what Christ died for!

But how? I understand this dilemma. I was captive to an addiction for years...I knew all the theology but couldn't quite see how to be free. What was the answer? I think the first thing was that my fear of God grew greater than my addiction. I wanted to please God and honour Him and this eventually outstripped my unhelpful behaviour. Every time I gave into that behaviour I realised that I was giving in to the lies the devil was saying about me I was not worth anything. People often think of addiction in relation to drugs and alcohol. But there are many addictions. It may be a body addiction but it could also be the mind…..worry itself can be an addiction...

I think it is natural to worry from time to time but constant persistent worry is a big hindrance to the move of God in our lives. Persistent worrying can be related to CONTROL i.e.“God I don’t quite trust you to fix this so I’m going to control it myself!” I realised that was pride.When we realise that we can totally trust God there is freedom. We no longer have to sort it all out ourselves.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corin 3v1) 

OK so you say…I get all of this and I’m really trying very hard to stop the things that are keeping me in bondage. But I’m still stuck! Well I think the HOLY SPIRIT is the key. We can’t live life without recognising that we need “the demonstration of the Spirit’s Power” (1 Corin 2v4). When we let God in by allowing the Spirit to do work and not our human effort there is freedom from bondage. This is particularly difficult with worry because that is all about our effort! But we need to come to the place where we say, "Lord I give up! I need help and cannot do this alone! Please send your Spirit to help me..!" I spent weeks just saying this prayer over and over again a couple of months ago and I often still need to do it! The more we allow the Spirit to do and the more we soak in God's love for us we will not want to try and solve these problems anymore.... in fact the act of soaking and receiving will bring freedom in itself.

Listen to this song and recieve....Freedom Rains

The blubbering controller learning to trust again....

Tonight I blubbered all the way down the motorway as God humbled me and made me realise how my attempt at trying to 'control things' had got me in a twist over the last 2 weeks. Worries about the future - what am I doing next year? Worries about my health. Worries about relationships.....Each time I think I've surrendered something, other things come a long and I learn once again how I need God's help in trusting Him about the future and not planning so much...

As I drove down the motorway from visiting a Bible College I felt God remind me that He knows everything. He knows the number of hairs on my head, He knows what I'll be doing in the next 10 hours and where I'll be in the next 10 years. He knows what I need. He knows me better than I know myself. So why O why do I feel the need to control and analyse and figure out everything!!!! How gracious He is at persisting to teach me to trust over and over again!

I'm growing to understand that surrender seems to be a life long thing and I think I've realised there is always more to surrender, always more that God can do to bring us to greater dependance on Him so there is less of Me and more of Him. It would be so much easier if we could learn this in one full swoop, in a blink of an eye, like a flash of lightning. But life doesn't work that way and maybe the process is essential to understanding ourselves and God in greater measure.

So as I put the my blubbering controller self to bed I can rest assured that GOD IS IN CONTROL and everything is going to be OK because He has got me right in His hand and that is the safest place to be.

Because of God's love we are not consumed. He absorbs all our why's and what-if's....

....I have not blogged for a month! The last two weeks I have been back at full time work and didn't realise how much energy it would take out of me. I've just finished my second week though and think I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. The first week I managed to go to work, get home, feed myself and pretty much go straight to bed! Over the last week an old song came back to me...a golden oldie in fact! It goes "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is thy faithfulness." As I searched the scriptures wondering where this came from I found Lamentations Ch3 v19-24 and this is what I read....

"I remember my affliction...and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfullness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."

Even when are days become full of work and threaten to consume us the Lord's love overflows and his grace and faithfullness are with us again and again. They are new every morning.


Today I sensed His presence with me and His compassionate love as I had an unusual interaction with one of my patients. A man who rarely speaks about his past was for 30 minutes coherently able to articulate how a horrifically abusive past had affected the man he is today. A man who so often presents chaotically and delutionally was able to explain himself and as I prayed for listening ears I struggled to not show the tears in my heart. I could so easily ask "God how could a guy have gone through this much pain?" but somehow I saw that God's great love and faithfullness is still there and maybe my listening ear was enough for that moment.

God's love is all consuming and seems to flatten the 'Why's' in me. God's love is able to consume all our why's and what-ifs. What if this man's life had been different? What if...what if......As I walked on this beautifully sunny afternoon all I could say was "OK God I don't understand but I love you so much and I trust you anyway."