....I have not blogged for a month! The last two weeks I have been back at full time work and didn't realise how much energy it would take out of me. I've just finished my second week though and think I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. The first week I managed to go to work, get home, feed myself and pretty much go straight to bed! Over the last week an old song came back to me...a golden oldie in fact! It goes "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is thy faithfulness." As I searched the scriptures wondering where this came from I found Lamentations Ch3 v19-24 and this is what I read....
"I remember my affliction...and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfullness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."
Even when are days become full of work and threaten to consume us the Lord's love overflows and his grace and faithfullness are with us again and again. They are new every morning.
Today I sensed His presence with me and His compassionate love as I had an unusual interaction with one of my patients. A man who rarely speaks about his past was for 30 minutes coherently able to articulate how a horrifically abusive past had affected the man he is today. A man who so often presents chaotically and delutionally was able to explain himself and as I prayed for listening ears I struggled to not show the tears in my heart. I could so easily ask "God how could a guy have gone through this much pain?" but somehow I saw that God's great love and faithfullness is still there and maybe my listening ear was enough for that moment.
God's love is all consuming and seems to flatten the 'Why's' in me. God's love is able to consume all our why's and what-ifs. What if this man's life had been different? What if...what if......As I walked on this beautifully sunny afternoon all I could say was "OK God I don't understand but I love you so much and I trust you anyway."
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