Where is my allegiance?

I recently had to write an essay on the subject of Jesus' teaching on the Kingdom of God, with particular reference to 'The Sermon on the Mount' (Matthew 5-7) and Matthew 13 (sometimes called 'the Parables of the Kingdom'). Since then I can't get these passages out of my head! I've stopped reading the Bible through from Genesis as I was doing and seemed to have stalled quite literally in the Sermon on the Mount for weeks! But in a good way! God is revealing things to my tough-skinned mind and heart and trying to soften me, humble me and teach me things I've not yet grasped. I think the sum of what I'm being challenge about is this:

"Where is your allegiance?"

Ok I know I'm in a relationship with the Lord, he has saved me..but it's more than that. As Stott says on the Sermon on the Mount, "the citizens of heaven are called to put God first in their motives and their actions, in their business and their language, in their thought life and their priorities. All life comes under his royal control" (p89 of BST The Message of Matthew, 2009, 7th ed). Jesus' teaching is clear that citizens of heaven enter the Kingdom through repentance and belief in Christ (Matt 3:2). However Jesus clearly shows there is more to it than that. The mark of a believer is a life that lives out and practices the teachings of Jesus. Our Christian walk is a journey and living Kingdom lives is about obedience to Christ and putting Him first above all other things.

We can have allegiance to lots of things and put our value on those things over Christ. I find myself asking questions like 'Am I putting greater value on being respected and approved by others? Am I putting too great a value on my possessions and what I own? Where is my primary love? Is it for Jesus and His Kingdom or other things?'

The Sermon on the Mount is best summed up in Matthew 6:33:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you........."

I don't believe that this means that we will never suffer or have hard times...after all it says in the Beatitudes "blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness" (Matthew 5:10) and Jesus himself felt the pain of those cruel nails in his hands on the cross. But I do think that if we have His Kingdom and His righteousness as our primary focus then we don't have to worry about the necessities of life (what we will eat, wear, etc.....see Matthew 6 v 19-32).  

Reading passages like the Sermon on the Mount can leave us thinking 'is this lifestyle attainable, realistic?' However if we are in relationship with Christ and have the indwelling of the Spirit we do not need to fear. As Paul says in 1 Corin 4:20, "the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of Power" and the Spirit will help us in our weaknesses and provide us with victory in areas of our lives that put a drag wind on our walk with Him.
 
So as I blog on the Kingdom of God, starting with the Beatitudes next, I hope and pray that the Lord will challenge and change me. I want a re-focusing in my life. Hopefully it will bless and encourage you too.

Ladies...Men need our respect!!!!

This is a subject I've been thinking about for some time. Through observations of couples in my life and the differences between men and women I've noticed something that I think perhaps as women we need to understand and grasp better in order to encourage and affirm the men that we know. This is particularly pertinant to marriage and those in relationships with the opposite sex but also I think in general we need to know these things as we interact with the guys around us. I am talking, I know, from the place of a single, unmarried lady so do bear with me and comment if you disagree! However I think from my observation of others and what I've read in the Bible it is a subject God is teaching me about too........

As women (and I'm one myself so I can say it!!) we can be controlling, critical, nagging and wanting to 'fix' the men in our lives. Too often we do these things totally unintentially and not realising the affect it has on them.

In the Bible it says many times husbands 'love your wives' but wives 'respect' your husbands (see Ephesians 5v 33). It really emphasises it this way round. Why?? I think for the very reason that respecting men is intrinsically linked to loving them and perhaps God knew that women are not very good at grasping this. In Shaunti Feldhahm's book 'For women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men' (2004) a survey was carried out with over 1000 men. What they discovered was this...

'Men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected'

She gave an example of this from a retreat she went on. The speaker divided the room in half placing men on one side and women on the other. He said,

"I'm going to ask you to choose between two things,".... "If you had to choose, would you rather feel alone and unloved in the world OR would you rather feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone?" Shaunti explains that she recalls as a woman thinking, 'What kind of choice is that? Who would ever choose to feel unloved?!' But the speaker turned to the men's side of the room and a sea of hands went up when he asked "would you rather feel alone and unloved?" The women watched in utter bemusement! (see pages 21-23 of Shaunti's book).

In the book Shaunti goes on to explain that in the survey many men found it incredibly hard answering the 'unloved verses disrespect' questions because to them they equate the two.i.e. 

'If a man feels disrespected he is going to feel unloved'

I think deep down most women do respect the men in their lives they just often convey the opposite. Even things that might seem silly to us like not allowing the man to take a lead in the directions on a journey (does it really matter if he's going to be late as long as he has your respect and trust?!!!). Or nagging them about fixing something in the house can say to them 'actually I don't trust your're good enough to do this' and therefore respect you. A common one that really hurts guys is critizising them publically...you might be thinking you're just teasing them in front of others about something silly they have done but that is the worst insult for their need for respect. For women we forget these things.....

In the book of Proverbs in the Bible it says quite a few things about a 'nagging wife'...
-Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife. (Prov 21.9)
-Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife. (Prov 21.19)
-A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. How can you keep her quiet? Have you ever tried to stop the wind or ever tried to hold a handful of oil? (Prov 27.15)

Don't you just love the last one! But it's serious stuff and I wonder if it really does cripple relationships.
For me I've always thought of Genesis 3 when it comes to this subject. In Genesis 3 it talks about the 
well known passage when Eve in v8 takes the forbidden fruit and just goes right in there and eats it. 
She doesn't consult her husband, she just bulldozes right in! And he stands back and lets her do it! Not only 
that she persuades him to join her by giving him some of the forbidden fruit....

I think this passage tells us a lot about the weaknesses of both sexes but its also related to this subject. 
As women we can be quite controlling and think 'well he might not do that thing so I'm just going to go
in there and do it myself.' However as a consequence the man don't have a chance to say 'actually
that's not a good idea, or this is what I think....' I think the weaknesses of men can be that they 
don't step up to that challenge and lead us...and instead sit back and watch. But if we as women bulldoze
into situations we are not helping them to step up to leading us, making decisions and entrusing situations
into their hands......


So lets learn to entrust things a bit more to the men in our lives so they feel respected and loved!